Sometimes you just feel like you are the only yellow leaf on the tree.
That you are the only one feeling the temperature changing, feeling the warmth of the sun declining, feeling the dawning of a new season.
That you are the only one waving hard and crying out, "Do you see me?", trying to stay put, to hold on in the midst of the oncoming storm as the wind pulls hard to rip you away from your branch, your home,... your life.
If only it stayed warmer...
If only the sun shone a bit longer and brighter and hotter...
If only I could hold on tighter...
If only I were stronger, more able to cope with the wind...
If only I wasn't so scared...
If only I were more graceful, more attractive, more beautiful...
If only the other leaves were changing too...
If only I wasn't the only one.
Lonely. It is so lonely being the only one.
But what if...
What if instead of saying "If only I...", I asked, "What if God..."?
What if instead of demanding something of myself by my flesh, I asked of God by his Holy Spirit.
What if God is using me to show him as the light of the world that shines longer and brighter and hotter?
What if God is teaching me to hold on to him, to remain in him, to trust in him so that I can remain firm when the really rough weather hits?
What if God's strength really is made perfect in my weakness and my dependance on him is true?
What if God has good things for me in this new season?
What if I miss out on those blessings because I can't handle the chill in the air?
What if God wants me to wave hard enough, long enough, wildly enough so that everyone can see what a Masterpiece I am, so that I can show off the handiwork of God?
What if God is calling me to be the only one, to lead by example a life that is grafted into the Vine?
What is God is using my willingness to be used to pull others along, to encourage others in their walk with the Creator? Eventually the whole tree will change colour...it's just a matter of time.
What if I truly believe all of God's promises, believe all he claims to do and be, believe all his plans for me are purposeful and fruitful?
Then I will live a life full of promise; a life full of potential; a life eager for the next season to begin.
"See that what you have heard from the beginning remains in you.
If it does, you also will remain in the Son and in the Father.
And this is what he promised us - even eternal life."
1 John 2:24-25
This morning I was actully thinking of your blogs and how I used to enjoy reading them when I came upon an old one in my emails from long. I know you wrote this months ago and almost a year later your words are still inspiring. Maybe the timing was perfect for me to read now with a deeper understanding. I have been encouraged your story. Thank you
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