Priority Post

A couple of weekends ago, I attended the Priscilla Shirer Live event in Mississauga. Great teaching, fabulous worship, and a whole lot of fun spent with women I love.

Throughout Priscilla's exposition on Mark 1, she landed on a 'Supernatural Priority' point. During that portion, Priscilla (yes, we are on a first name basis) shared with us a story that Jill Briscoe had shared with her a number of years ago. It was about balancing life and priorities. I will summarize it here quickly from my notes:

• suppose you have 10 clear plastic boxes sitting in front of you
• each box represents a different responsibility, job, relationship, that you have
• most people think that to balance all of these - to have a balanced life with everything that needs to get done, the things that fill our lives - that the boxes should each have the same amount in them -- life is balanced if all of these boxes have an equal amount put into them
• that is pretty near impossible! (my thought)
• I need to ask God which boxes are to be my priority IN THIS SEASON; which 2 or 3 boxes can I focus on and do well to fill IN THIS SEASON…it doesn’t mean forever, it doesn’t mean not ever, but for RIGHT NOW
• and the key is??? to prioritize time with God to determine which boxes are the important ones, and then LET THE OTHER BOXES BE DEPLETED…for this season (WOW. Depleted??)
• “Having the courage to say No and let them be depleted for this season leaves margin which makes room for a wonderful YES to the boxes that God has really called you to” - also room for crises and the unexpected
• “There are great Yeses when we have the courage to say No”.

This can be so hard - to let the things we thought were important fall away because AT THIS TIME they just aren't. They will be again, no doubt, especially if they are gifts and talents and passions that God has given you. 

You gotta know and believe that God will bring those back to the forefront IN THEIR SEASON - 

and it will be great when that happens!

The journal prompt question on the page of my notetaking booklet was actually “How is God calling you right now?”. I believe that it was not random that I ended up writing this point on this page. It prompted me to think about all the things that fill my life, the responsibilities and people that fill my days. Do I have my priorities straight, have I been focusing on the right things, the God directed things? It’s tough, it really is. 

One thing that I have learned to do is to ask God to not only help me prioritize what I should be doing, but to lessen the passion, the desire, for the things that, in my humanness, I think are important, but are not to be my “box of choice” IN THIS SEASON.

• Pray that God would lessen the desires that are from Him but are not for now, and ask Him to remove the selfish, human desires that are totally just from me and are really, for never.

Some of you may know that I like to write (because you are reading this...thank you!). I have this small blog where I infrequently write about things of life and ministry and family. I believe that God has gifted me to write and I enjoy doing it. I enjoy being in ministry with my husband and family and I have SO MANY things that I’d love to see happen, to dive in to, to dig deeper into. I love doing these things! **They even bring me life and enjoyment!** But I know, when I look at my boxes God has placed in front of me, that writing and serving as my heart desires is not for right now. 

Right now, IN THIS SEASON, I know that God is calling me to teach and to parent and to serve in small ways because this is what my family needs. It’s even what I have decided I must need as it must be preparing me for the future. I know (at least I really, really hope) that God will give me time and opportunity to write and minister in a wider fashion at some point, but I have found peace in knowing that if I’m going to do a good job at the boxes God has prioritized in front of me right now, then I have to let those other boxes be depleted...for now. 

I am trusting that my courageous NO has opened up some wonderful YESES.

Does that take some adjusting? Sure it does. Does it mean that I struggle with my purpose and my place in our church? You bet. Does it mean that my work and my family are without problems? Absolutely not.  Does it mean that I don't fight jealousy when I see others spending time doing the things that I’d like to be doing? Nope, I have to constantly repent of that one. 

There are struggles, challenges and joys within each of these boxes, and I have to repeatedly ask for wisdom and discernment along the way.  But because I am focusing on a few, I have the energy to give to them from my best and not from my own depleted soul. I am loving where God has me, and I am trusting that the God-given boxes that are for another season will be waiting for me. I have to believe that they are even being prepared for me, and I for them.

It takes trust to let go of the things we desire; I don't really want to let these things go, but I'd certainly like to give them to God. He is in charge of each of those boxes. I also need to trust Him with each of the God-given desires and passion that are important and good but not for right now. I know that when the time is right, the opportunities will return, and God will open up my time and provide me with a renewed passion and desire to see these things flourish.

There is both challenge and struggle, but also profound joy and abundant grace when we can find THIS sort of balance...the balance of the God directed life, the balance of the God prioritized life.

May all of this be yours in Christ Jesus.

Raw

So, when emotions are raw, you feel deeply. Peeling back the protective layers of pride and expectations, you become vulnerable, laying it all out there.

Every now and then I feel raw.  But I have needed to feel raw. I have needed to let myself feel what needed to be felt. As the days have moved along, there have been some great moments and some tough moments. As I have reflected on the raw emotions of these days, I have realized a couple of things.

I feel a bit like Jekyll and Hyde.  Some days I am rejoicing with my kids, other days I am crying with them.  Some days I am encouraging them and proud of the steps they have taken, other days I am frustrated that they aren't trying harder or more being committed.  I so desperately want them to make the jump from Mississauga to Orangeville, to find home here in our new community.  I know there is so much that is good about our new adventure. Good for our family, good for our new community, good for each one of us. I love our new place - our new home, our new church, even our new Walmart! :)  We truly could have the best of both worlds - a wonderful group of friends we have moved away from but have not left behind, while also making new friends and tackling new challenges and continuing to make life great.

But I have to let them do it in their own time and in their own way.

     Transitioning is a process and it requires courage and grace, 
                                                                                     strength and compassion,            
                                                                                               determination and perseverance. 
All are necessary in life; good things to learn; great things to become awesome at. My boys are becoming awesome at these things.  I see them change and try and dig deeper and learn to be more than they were, more than they could have been had we stayed put. And for that I am thankful, even if they don't see it that way.

There is grief in the leaving, but there is also joy in the journey.  We are all becoming people we weren't before, these thing are stretching us and changing us, bringing us to a point of dependency on God for strength, courage, and faith.  Faith to believe that what we have done is right - for all of us.  There is great comfort in knowing that
                       "suffering produces perseverance; 
                         perseverance, character; 
                         and character, hope. 
                        And hope does not disappoint".  
How awesome is that!  Hope does not disappoint!!  

The Adventure of moving has worn off.  Nine months in and what was an exciting and new adventure for our family has become a deep seated reality.  This is life - this is our new life. A life we have been called to, a life full of new people, places, experiences and promise. There have been countless affirmations that this new life is the life we are supposed to be living, and we continue to live those out.

God has been gracious with his surprises!! His mercies continue to be new each morning.  We search and we strive to figure out what it is He has called us to.  God is good, and I am...

Blessed Beyond Belief.