My heart and my will have had a battle recently. This battle has been the essence of the wrestling match that I have had with my writing. For a long time I have wanted to write a book and I believed that The Book was to be The Purpose, as well as The End Goal, of my writing. But I have come to realize - and accept - that this is not the case. I have surrendered what I thought was my desire in life and the underlying drive for all my professional and ministry decisions.
This wrestle and surrender has birthed a great freedom and a renewed confidence to embark on the steps of the journey.
I so often forget that the steps are
not only the way to the goal,
but they are the only way to that goal.
Few people in life jump from the bottom of the valley to the top of the mountain without actually climbing the rock face, finding the proper grip spot, holding on tight, and swinging their body into a new position, ready to tackle the next hold. Few people don’t have to do the hard work of doing the actual work before they reach they top. And few people don’t also slide backwards down the mountain side a few times while making their climb, relying fully on the safety rope to grab them tight and prevent them from falling.
This is where I am at. I have climbed. I have worked. I have slid. I have changed my course and climbed again. I have a renewed purpose and passion for my writing. What you will read about is real life, real things, and a real God.
While I desire with a new passion to live with eternity in my heart, I do not want to miss out on the opportunities that God is giving me right now to actually live out that truth. Yes, I want eternity to be what draws me and motivates me, but I also want my everyday life to reflect that. I want my everyday life and decisions and emotions to mirror the heart and desire and purposes of God. I want my every day life to be more about Him and less about me.
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It’s about being obedient in the here and now.
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It’s about loving God, obeying Him, and remaining with Him.
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And you know what else? It’s about your life too. It’s about making the most of this life in the time we’ve been given.
This is what I want for you...that you would use what God has given you to make the most of the days He has given you.
I want to see you live life like it actually counts for something more. I want you to know that every little thing you do matters to your people and to your God. And I want the same for myself. I want to live with passion and purpose and I want every breath you and I breathe to mean something.
So, it has become less about a book and more about a life. My life. Your life. The life that we live every single day. Yes, these daily events that make up my life might someday help shape the words of a book but that is not my sole purpose right now. Life is. Living well and loving well those God has put in my path. Walking alongside and encouraging those whose lives intersect with mine.
It is good to surrender to the wrestle, but it is also good to participate in the wrestle. Wrestling helps us define what is it is we are here for, the passions that drive us, and the purpose that directs us. It is hard, but it is good.
I do not know what my writing future holds, but I do know that I want to live surrendered to the One who does. Truthfully, there is a book in me somewhere. But the blessing right now is that it is not the book that is driving my inner desires. It is not a well written book that is making my life count. It is a well lived life that will someday make the book count.
