Enjoy the quiet. Enjoy the silence.
I love having a quiet house to myself, but this summer that has evaded me. We have had kids going here and there, travelling the province and the world. We have had friends moving out and friends moving in. We have had special family to visit, travel visas to attain, outside doors to paint, beautiful weddings to enjoy, fantastic conferences to attend, encouraging gatherings to meet at, plenty of parties to throw. I refuse to call my summer busy because that seems too negative. My summer has been full...gloriously full.
But my summer has been anything but silent.
However, my summer has been anything but devoid of God.
I sat here this morning wondering about the silence that now shrouds me. What am I to do with this silence? What do I think? Should I do something in this silence? I still have a couple of rooms to clean, tidy and organize. I could start to organize and pull out work for my students who I will see in just over one week. I could start to paint the garage doors that have been half started for weeks. I could watch TV. I could read a book. I could text an encouraging verse to a friend. I could fill it a thousand different ways. What do I do with this silence? (Apparently, I write a blog post...)
And I wonder if I am afraid of silence because it's been a while. Am I afraid of what I might think, of what I might feel, or maybe even of what God might say to me? I let my mind wander back over my summer, over the two months we have each year that are laden with expectation and anticipation of anything but routine and school. I know that there have been snippets of time where I was able to drink deep of the loud silent presence of God. I also know that there were times when I was too busy, too caught up in all that was around me, to remember that God was there, breathing life and being into my soul. I know that there were times when Truth and Grace and Love pervaded the very air around me. I know that even in the fullness of my summer, I also experienced the fullness of my God because this past summer, they were one in the same. I experienced the very full presence of God in my very full, beautiful summer.
And I loved every minute of it.
This is new for me. Usually I fight for some silent space, some solitude where I can breathe deep and relax into voice of God. As "mostly" an introvert, I like and need some of that space, I absolutely do. And I can come close to crashing if I don't get it. But this summer God has allowed me to take quick sips of His silence because that is what life allowed me to do. Do I love and long to drink deep? Absolutely. Do I think that is important and vital to a deepening relationship? You bet. But I also know that as life changes and challenges our time and energy and focus, God provides all we need to make it through..to survive it.
But not just survive it...He gives us what we need to thrive in it.
We just gotta let Him.
We just gotta accept it from Him.
Because in it He has something new to teach us about about Himself, about ourselves, and there is a deep richness in that acceptance which will settle our souls and humble our hearts.
Silence is golden. I still believe that. But I am thankful that this summer my prayers have been fuelled by a passionate fire for His truth in the midst of the fullness of life. There is a new desire for Christ in my everyday, and this summer of fullness has taught me to believe that and live in that.
Tomorrow two of my kids come home from camp, Monday I begin to set up my classroom, next Saturday the other two return from camp, and then Tuesday school starts. And the two months we have each year that are laden with expectation and anticipation of anything but routine and school come to an end.
So if you are a looker and lover of solitude like I am, you know that any moments you get are a gift. So accept that gift from a God who knows you more and loves you deeper than anyone possibly could.
And maybe, just maybe, silence can actually come in the chaos. Drink deep of the fullness of silence amidst the fullness of life in the moments God gifts you, whether big or small.
God, grant me quick sips of your grace and truth. Help me to thrive, not just survive in the space you have placed me, silent or not.
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