“Hey Hon, take a look at this email,” my husband said as he turned his laptop to me. “Do you think I should check it out?” As I skimmed the contents of the email, I read about a church in a town just north of our city that was looking for a new Lead Pastor, someone who could come and guide them through the next piece of their journey. I had heard about this church although had no personal experience or connections to it. From what I knew, it was a large, growing, vibrant church that sought new and bold ways to do ministry. But wait, aren’t we currently in a church that is vibrant and growing, boldly loving to do ministry together? Why consider moving from a church and community we love and who love us? Move from a church that has loved us and shaped us every bit as much as, if not more than, we have them? It didn’t seem to make sense…from the outside. However, my response to my husband’s question was something like, “Sure. It wouldn’t hurt to find out a bit more.”
And that was that. God started us on a journey that would impact hundreds of lives, including those of our four children, our many friends and our family. Relationships that have been deeply rooted over the 18 years we lived and did ministry in the city were to be tested and torn.
Leaving what we Love
So why leave a church, a community, a city that we love? Why uproot all we have known in life to embark on a new journey that to many seemed like bad timing, bad thinking or maybe just plain bad? We leave what we love because we obey the call of God. Being in ministry means devoting our life to the work of God; we know that not everything makes sense to the average person looking in from the outside, and sometimes it doesn’t even make sense to us. This decision to leave one church and head to another was not a choice between two really “good” churches, it was a choice to be obedient to God. Obedience is not always easy, but it is always right. Obedience is not always fun, but it is always foundational. Making a tough decision to transition your life, family, and ministry to another place has to be a choice of obedience, and the belief that it will produce perseverance, character, and hope (Romans 5:3-5). The great news is that the Bible promises us that “hope does not disappoint us”! So in hope, we press on.
Transitioning is also a decision made out of purposeful reflection on our spiritual gifts, both individually and as a family. After having been in one place for 18 years, both my husband and I were feeling stagnant in our spiritual walk and usefulness. Not that anything was bad; we walked closely with God and with our partners in ministry and could have continued on there being very happy for many years to come. There were many fantastic things about where we were living and raising our family.
The question that really drove this transition process for me was this: were we being all we were called and created to be? Was there more for us out there? New experiences and challenges that we actually would not be able to accomplish by staying put? There were many realistic and logical variables to consider: my job was in the city, our kids were committed to sports teams, we would be pulling our teenagers from an excellent high school, my husband had gone through a significant health crisis and was still being monitored so moving might impact his care, and the reality check of whether or not he was healthy enough to make the transition and continue on long term. God took care of each of these concerns in miraculous ways, clearing the path for our transition. There had to be more for us out there, God was making that abundantly obvious. He had so much more for us. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was going to be adventurous. It was going to be a step of faith for our whole family.
What about the kids?
The thought of transitioning our children was the hardest part of this decision. Our older boys were part of a fantastic high school and had made wonderful friends; they were settled and enjoying life as teenagers do. Our third born had just begun the first of his years at Middle School and would be leaving the sense of freedom and independence that came with finally being in sixth grade. Our youngest son loved life and school and church; he didn’t have a care in the world most days!
So why pull them from a life they love, a church they love, and friends they love? As parents, this was really tough. We endeavoured from the beginning to include them in the process. We did not want them to feel as if my husband and I had made a decision that was forced upon them. We talked openly about moving; we acknowledged it was a difficult thing and we were very upfront that it was not going to be easy for any of us. Our policy was to be open and honest with each other. We encouraged our boys to be honest with how they were feeling, and we in turn were honest with them. We thought is was important to model Godly decision making for them. We included them in our doubts, our fears, our excitement, and our prayers. We shared with them our concerns but also our commitment to following Christ in obedience. For most of the transition journey our boys were “willing to”, but not necessarily “wanting to” move. In their heads they understood that there is a bigger picture being painted, and that God has our family as part of that. However, in their hearts, it was more difficult to comprehend.
Leaving hurts. Plain and simple: it hurts and it is hard.
One day while in the process of making this decision, I was wrestling with God about pulling my children from our community. “What about the kids? How can we take our kids away from the only life they have known?” God clearly returned me to a place where I had had to trust Him with my children a few years ago. I had been quite sick and facing death in the hospital, scared beyond belief about leaving my children and God asked me then, “Do you trust me?”. I knew then that I HAD to trust Him; I had no other option. But I also knew that I wanted to trust Him, and that I could trust Him. And so He reminded me again that He loved my children much more than I did, and that He had a plan and a purpose for them. This decision of transitioning was not just about my husband’s job, it was not just about us as adults and parents trying our best to follow God and where He would place us.
No, it was about all of us, our whole family. God has a purpose for each one of us.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jer 29:11)
Finding New Community
So now we live our lives in our new community, seeking to find and understand what God’s purposes are for us as a family, and for each one of us individually. My children still wrestle with the hurt and the change, but we assure them that God is bigger than their questions. They are learning so much about who God is and what it means to live for Him in a new and different setting. They are learning to bring their big questions to Him, that it is OK to ask God those questions, and that He isn’t offended when we feel He doesn’t make sense. They are learning things about God that I’m not sure they would have learned if they had not experienced the transition of obedience. There is safety and security in staying, in remaining with the known and loved. But there is great opportunity for renewed faith, trust and hope in following God in obedience. And “hope does not disappoint us”.
So in obedience and hope, we press on toward the goal.
